I am puke
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
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Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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