I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize