fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize