There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
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Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
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JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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