dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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