I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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