Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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