Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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