it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize