I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize