this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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