called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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