like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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