Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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