He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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and then he started using my ass as a stressball
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
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You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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