Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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