She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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