She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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