Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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