he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
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I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
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This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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