don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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