now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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