it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize