Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize