We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize