i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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