She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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