when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize