is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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