Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

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  (843): I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed. http://tfl.nu/tmoe
  Replies (16) Good night (463) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Nice meating you last night

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Not a typo

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  (843): Nice meating you last night (843): Not a typo http://tfl.nu/icxk
  Replies (19) Good night (4858) Bad night (566)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.

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  (763): I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year. http://tfl.nu/q074
  Replies (10) Good night (829) Bad night (3524) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.

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  (780): Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah. http://tfl.nu/5le1
  Replies (10) Good night (1011) Bad night (4135) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock

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  (714): i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock http://tfl.nu/oxvs
  Replies (14) Good night (6006) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?

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  (920): did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve? http://tfl.nu/wzep
  Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (2658) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.

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  (925): Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip. http://tfl.nu/xswv
  Replies (4) Good night (1758) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.

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  (401): He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year. http://tfl.nu/48dx
  Replies (3) Good night (537) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder

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  (561): I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder http://tfl.nu/ihwc
  Replies (1) Good night (1088) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.

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  (928): No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals. http://tfl.nu/o042
  Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  sorry

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  why?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?

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  (301): sorry (304): why? (301): oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you? http://tfl.nu/0491
  Replies (2) Good night (2233) Bad night (478)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?

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  (708): Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/sg75
  Replies (5) Good night (1969) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.

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  (215): There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut. http://tfl.nu/e6c8
  Replies (2) Good night (1360) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  It's after 5, it's not day drinking.

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  (859): Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester? (1-859): It's after 5, it's not day drinking. http://tfl.nu/fzca
  Replies (12) Good night (1341) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.

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  (208): Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order. http://tfl.nu/2umc
  Replies (3) Good night (247) Bad night (410)

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