Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize