I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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