I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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