the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
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I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
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He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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