I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize