Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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