make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
this hospital has no fireball
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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