It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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