We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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