You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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