Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize