Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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