Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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