trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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