Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize