When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize