You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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