dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
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pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
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NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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