it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize