And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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