listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
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i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize